Ready to visualize balance in your life as part of HSP goal-setting? Too many HSPs settle for less in life because they don’t know what they are truly capable of, and there is no one in their life to help them discover their true potential.
That’s the mission of Authenticity Coaching: to focus on what you feel "born to do" and unlock the full potential that’s in you.
A whole-life perspective
Imagine that your life could be graphed in a circular fashion. Perhaps parts are flourishing, others languishing.
Your career is going well, but you are losing touch with friends or family. Or, you have rich, abiding friendships, and your family adores you, but your finances are in disarray.
It feels as if this "circle of life" might be compared to an automobile tire. When all parts of it are sound, it rolls well. If an imbalance develops, it can feel like you are going down the highway of life lumpa-bumpa.
This wheel of life shows us our areas of strength, optimism, confidence, and ability, as well as the places that need a little maintenance.
Visualize balance-the key to HSP goal-setting
There is a tendency to ignore the low spots where things aren’t going so well and concentrate on the others. It is easier to keep doing the things we are good at and ignore the rest.
When the wheel gets out of round, it tends to continue to do so unless we take steps to correct it. As my auto mechanic once said, “It’s good you brought the car in now; some of my customers seem to believe an auto will heal itself.”
As one part of the wheel becomes weak, it threatens the vehicle and its occupants, your friends and family, the people for whom you are responsible.
When the wheel is significantly out of round, the parts needing attention pull down those that until now have been doing well. A full-fledged blowout can stop everything cold.
There is also a flow between these segments, with one offering support to another. An advance in learning can create an increase in income or improvement in a marriage.
A leak in one area can damage another. If your health fails, for example, that affects family relationships. Others must take over some of your duties. It may affect your income and savings for the future as well as travel, learning, leisure, and fun.
Authenticity Coaching’s teleclasses can help you maintain a whole-life perspective instead of getting caught up in the minutia.
Concerns for the Highly Sensitive Person
HSPs in particular need to be careful that a lack of fit in a job setting does not begin to affect their well-being. Under-earning, with or without workplace stress, can impact both happiness and physical health. That in turn affects future career development—and more—beyond just your immediate income level.
Feeling stuck, feeling that you cannot overcome a barrier, or make improvement in an unpleasant situation is rarely an accurate assessment. Think about the difference training and experience made for you over the years. There was a time when you didn’t have any skills in a given area, and another time when they were limited. You’ve come a long way since then.
In each area of life, think about what you have learned and accomplished. Contrast that with a time when you lacked the skills to make those accomplishments a reality. Now that same kind of progress can often be made in the areas that need a bit of shoring up.
The High Spots
Where in your life are you already satisfied with your progress? In what area do you feel content? Where have you achieved your goals? What has been your most spectacular or most satisfying achievement? Or two, or three?
Does thinking about them still give you pleasure and perhaps a healthy bit of pride? Was it an award, a victory, a promotion, or degree? Or a less tangible outcome related to relationships? To some aspect of personal growth? Learning a difficult skill?
Do your accomplishments tend to fall in the same area of life, such as family or job? What strengths made these things possible? What else did the goals you achieved have in common?
The Lower Spots
It’s not wise to expect a “10 on a scale of 10” of yourself. It’s very difficult to sustain the elation you felt when a child was born, you achieved a milestone in your career, or won or earned a significant amount of money. Those highs are difficult to sustain. Trying to keep 9.0s or 10.0s at that same lofty level requires heroic effort.
Try instead for a 7.0; that can let you off the emotional hook. If your present level in some area is a 3.0, release it altogether if it’s not a relevant goal in your life. Perhaps you are a student or retiree; you won’t feel the same career push. The same if you are a stay-at-home parent. (Many career coaches do remind us to stay current on changes in our industry if we want to return to work later).
If it is relevant now, perhaps it’s time to give it more attention. Rather than demand a 7.0 of yourself right here, right now, today, if not sooner, try instead to take steps that would raise your level of satisfaction one-half point to a 3.5.
Brush up on goal-setting skills
Perhaps one skill that needs shoring up is your ability to set goals and move toward them and toward a life that would be more satisfying.
To start, it’s vital that you learn all you can about what it means to be highly sensitive. The research has only been available since the late ‘90s. Your parents and teachers didn’t grow up with it. It wasn’t part of the culture then and still isn’t.
It can be discouraging when others decide they know what’s best for you. They may be largely unaware what an HSP needs to emotionally survive and physically, vocationally, and socially thrive.
It’s also important that you have small, daily “wins” on your way to bigger goals. That’s the biggest single determinant of your overall results! As an HSP coach, that’s the result I want for you. ____________________________________________________________________________________________